THE BOX A One Act Play by JOHN MONTELEONE CONTACT: e-mail: writing@johnmonteleone.com PO Box 2723 Sag Harbor, NY 11963 Copyright 1997 - present by John Monteleone All Rights Reserved Registered with WGAE IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING PRODUCTIONS STUDENT CLASS PROJECTS If this is for a student class project you may use this text or sections of it free of charge but I want to know that you're doing it for my resume and would love a video tape of the production, and/or quality rehearsals. PRODUCTIONS OF ANY KIND OR LEVEL You may read and use this text-based script for considering work but if you want to produce my work as a student, amateur or professional production you must purchase scripts from me online and pay royalties per performance. __________________________________ THE BOX: was first produced in New York City at The William Redfield Theatre by The Actors' Workshop of Long Island in Februray 1992. It was directed by Keith T. Fadelici, Costume design by Tamar Cohn, Lighting Design by Jenifer E. Tanzer with the following cast: ROOSTER Philip Levy BOY Jonathan Friedman WEB Lane Luckert SONG Jeff Streger CHARACTERS: ROOSTER A neurotic, paranoid, business person. BOY A prepy college student. WEB A middle aged salesman and a living corpse. SONG An artist.. SET: The original New York Production had a large box that appeared to be "I" beams of metal; a huge, powerful structure supporting the interior office set. The walls were minimal. A free- standing door and wall were set directly under the huge "I" beams seeming to be a part of them but surrounded by space. The walls of the theatre were covered with garbage and debris consisting of large metal parts, old bicycle wheels, etc. which seemed to just be there, outlining the otherwise eternal darkness that hovered over the set. The lighting equiptment offered additional metalic interferance. The character of Song sat in the debris playing folk songs as the audience entered. For his formal entrance into the play, he re-entered through this garbage and into the safety of the office world of money and profits. Just black surrounding the set. A business desk stage right. All amenities of a business desk on it. An extremely large bottle of roll-aids and aspirin is clearly seen on it. Another desk somewhere near it. A black board upstage with the words, "super duper biggy boy sale" written on it. Overflowing paper garbage pail. Other office items kept to a bare minimum. Center on the essence of the business world without giving way to any particular type of business or industry. One entrance door stage left to the outside. A closet door stage center. Absolutely nothing in the closet. The empty closet must be seen when the door is opened. TIME: The present. BOY (in the dark) Hlllloooo ... Business Essentials! How may I be of service to you? Mr. VICTIM? We are here to swerve your ever growing needs. We know how... His voice fades out into an inaudible mumble. Lights come up on boy and rooster. Rooster wears a green tinted, snake-like skin suite, tie, and smokes. His face is painted a hue of slime green, as if he were deteriorating, sickly, ill. He is almost hunched, and is always comically lecherous. His bold, comic manner is a result of his deeply neurotic insecurity, rather than pure arrogance. He is a very tense, hyper man. He picks up a phone then puts it down almost simultaneously, etc. Throughout the play, he drinks scotch from the bottle, chugs pepto-bismol, pops roll-aids like candy, takes pills rattling the bottle, does cocaine and perhaps even shoots up. This should be a comic motif of this mentality, not a dramatic view of its tragedy. Boy, very clean and sweet, wearing prepy clothes is left of him on the phone. He mumbles in a low, almost intimidated blur. He hangs up. Silence. They look at each other. ROOSTER (anxious, but not angry) Ya sell him or what? BOY No. ROOSTER He didn't sell? For chrissakes the dirt bag didn't sell again? Rooster breaks down andcries. BOY I tried. ROOSTER (in tears) Not hard enough. Not hard enough you didn't try. You're all alike you college students. Same as yours truly. (disgusted) Sweet. Naive. Dreamers. Don't you want to make me money? Rooster cries. BOY I tried. But You can't expect me to sell every... Rooster cries again. ROOSTER Every one. Every Godamned sickening human being you contact on the other end of that Alexander Graham Bell is to be sold. I'm goin' bankrupt kid. I'm runnin' low on anti-acids? This is gettin' serious. You understand what that means? BOY Yes. ROOSTER I live here kid. This is my life. You gotta understand what'll happen if you fail. You .. you ... knowledge junkie. You hoper. BOY (nicely) D..d ... don't call me names please? ROOSTER Where's Web? BOY He's dead. ROOSTER Where is he? BOY In the closet. ROOSTER You pullin' my hernia? BOY No. ROOSTER He's dead huh? BOY Yes. ROOSTER Mr. Web is dead? He was alive just an hour ago. BOY I know. ROOSTER What killed him? BOY This. ROOSTER Then where's the body? BOY He's in the closet. Pause. Rooster looks at boy. BOY Should I keep calling these people? ROOSTER You think I pay you to listen to me complain about my health? You're sittin' there thinking I'll bitch out and you sit and listen to my babble, until it's time to go home to sugar and spice. That way you won't have to call those jackasses on the other end of the alexandergrahambell... I'M RIGHT RIGHT? BOY No. ROOSTER Don't pull the wool kid, I'm an ancient thing don't forget it. Where's Web? BOY (looking at closet, then Rooster) He's supposed to be out on a call. (pause) Should I call these people? ROOSTER Go ahead. But get them to buy. Be nice. be a listener. Don't babble or stutter. Don't go on and on about the product. Just tell them to buy it or I'LL TEAR THEIR TONSILS OUT WITH MY ... Rooster dives across the desk towards boy reaching for him violently. Boy retreats and hides behind a file cabinet. ROOSTER NO! don't tell them that. I was only joking. (laughing. chugs pepto-bismol) be cool. Be calm. (takes pills nervously. downs with scotch) Be in control. Tell them that the products will make them into whoever their not. Tell them it'll transform their lives into some bullshit. But don't use the word bullshit. Use the word sexy. Trans Am. New House. Wealth. New someshit. You know words like that. BOY O.k. ROOSTER Don't get weak. (falls into his chair) Where's Web? Shit, what time is it? Three O'clock already? How much did you sell so far? BOY Two hundred dollars. ROOSTER (contemptuously) Two hundred bucks. What do I do with that buy hanky's? What? What do I do with that? Where's Web? I got payroll taxes comin' up, I got health insurance payments comin' up, I got telephone bills, heatin' bills, credit cards, loans, a mortgage, car payments! What do I do with two hundred bucks? Buy stamps? Web, where is he? Rooster whimpers. BOY (looking at closet) He's supposed to be out on a call. ROOSTER I know that. You told me that. Where? Where is he? I want the location. (pause) Web can sell. He can sell anyone anything. Where is the stiff? I want to know exactly what that corpse is doing. Is he pounding the pavement or eatin' a hot dog on me? On my time? Huh? Huh? I'm sick of employees trying to get away with murder. BOY I don't know. ROOSTER You're talkative you know that. You're an informative soul. A pshychologigraph. A true Dunn and Bradstreet report. A ... BOY I told you where he was. ROOSTER You don't like me. You never liked me. I know it. Don't think for a minute that I'm not aware of it. Why don't you like me? Pause. BOY Should I try him again? ROOSTER Go ahead. BOY (dials. reads from the text) Hello, Mr. VICTIM? this is business essentials here to swerve your ever growing needs. We know how difficult it is to be in business today ... hello? Hello? ROOSTER He hung up? BOY Y...es..sss... ROOSTER Yes? Did you just say YES? BOY Yes sir. ROOSTER You said "yes" didn't you? I wasn't sure because you mumbled it in terror, that word Yes? BOY Yes. ROOSTER ...Yessss... BOY ...Yessss... ROOSTER ...Yessss... as in "he did hang up" as in he's not on the other end of that alexandergrahambell, as in I'm gonna be impoverished, as in my bank account is impotent, as in he's not gonna buy something from me so I can go home to my comfy's? Yes, as in all of that? BOY I guess... ROOSTER (pause he looks at the Boy) He hung up? BOY I almost got through the whole introduction. ROOSTER He hung up?! BOY No...uh... yes...ss. ROOSTER No? did you say NO? Are you lieing? BOY Yes... he hung...up ... p... ROOSTER How could he hang up?! BOY He put the receiver down on the... ROOSTER You let him hang up? BOY No.. Y..no.. ROOSTER Do you know what this means? BOY Yes? ROOSTER Do you know what this means? BOY No? ROOSTER You know what this Godamned absolutely without a shadow of a doubt means? BOY Maybe? ROOSTER This means that my kid won't go to college. This means that my wife won't be able to charge at the mall. This means that we all might end up in the gutter face down with stock brokers stepping over us. BOY It was only a phone call. Rooster, shaking bodily, falls to the floor in a tantrum. ROOSTER Only a phone call? Only a phone call? Is that what you said only a phone call? It wasn't only a phone call. It was more than a phone call. It was the possibility of money. It was the possibility of things. It was the possibility of MORE. He rises and sits behind desk. Shaking, grunting, he pulls out cocaine and snorts twice. A large mass of cocaine is stuck to his face. ROOSTER (very up) OKAY!!! Now you listen to me. (Rooster mimes a duel) You get on the phone, or you go out and you meet with a prospective buyer, whatever, it's a face to face duel. You gotta remember that under all the smiles, the laughs, the confidentiality, all of that, the amenities, there's survival (Fires the imaginary gun). You do whatever you have to to get that sale. You understand me kid? You do anything. (Rooster fences with an I maginary partner) You survive. You give him your home number, take him out for dinner, tell him to bring the wife and kids, you give him a break, knock ten percent off, whatever, (stabs the parnter, his sword gets stuck in him) but you get the sale. You survive. You do not die. You live. (Rooster tries to pull the sword out. he uses his foot to help pry it out) You hold the spear. You don't let him hang up (throws the imaginary spear, watches for a moment until it kills an imaginary person in the distance) until you've got the cash. Understand? BOY I'm sorry. ROOSTER No you're not. You're never sorry. You only say that to get by one second to the next. What do you think you're dealing with here kid, a dummy? (pause. Laughs) Why do you work for me? I wouldn't take this shit from me. You're a wimp. BOY I need the money. ROOSTER I know it. (he laughs) Wimp. You take that? I wouldn't. I'd quit! BOY Can I start? ROOSTER (laughs) Don't forget you get paid minimum wage plus a ten percent commission on anything you sell to anyone. I don't care who it is. I don't care what you sell him. I don't care how you sell him. The sale, is all there is. You beginnin' to get the big picture here? BOY Can I start? ROOSTER Go ahead. THE BOY DIALS. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. ROOSTER (to door) WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE A BUTLER? Rooster takes out the scotch and drinks from the bottle. BOY (on the phone) Hello, Mr. Victim? This is business essentials, here to swerve your ever growing needs. We know ... hello? He...lll...ooooo...? Song enters. He wears beat clothes and a cowboy hat. A guitar is strung over his back. He's been homeless for a week or two. He stands by the door watching. ROOSTER He hung up? BOY Yes sir maybe if I tried another client? Rooster tries to fight the tears. ROOSTER He hung up? Rooster bites his lip. BOY Sir... I... I'm brutalizing that poor man by continuously calling him when he doesn't... Rooster bursts into tears. ROOSTER Doesn't? Doesn't? BOY Sir... ROOSTER Don't patronize me what do I look like? Pause as boy is afraid to answer him. ROOSTER Don't call me sir, when you want to kill me. What kind of language is that? BOY You're a little edgy today sir. ROOSTER (complete paranoia) What are you implying that I'm going to die...? BOY No sir. ROOSTER (panicked) Edgy? Edgy... what makes you say a thing that? Edgy? Rooster charges over to an imaginary mirror down stage center and peers into it looking fearfully at his face, out towards the audience. ROOSTER I'm not edgy. Maybe a little tense. Maybe a little nervous ... just ... I look a little pale though. I look a little bit drawn. But edgy? Are you implying that I'm gonna have a "type A" massive, final fatal heart attack and fall dead right here on my floor what are you getting at? What did you just mean by that little innuendo? DEFINE IT! Rooster has a coughing jag. He drinks whiskey. Stops. BOY You're looking well today sir. ROOSTER No I don't you idiot. I look like a funeral, deathitself, what's your angle kid, what do you want? A X-mas bonus, health benefits WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU WANT SOMETHING I KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING TO THIS POLITICAL HEALTH TERRORISM TACTIC YOU'RE UP TO. BOY Political Health terr...? ROOSTER POLITICAL HEALTH TERRORISM TACTIC YOU'VE GOT UNDER YOUR SLEEVE. POLITICAL HEALTH TERRORISM TACTIC JESUS H, WHY DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MY SELF SO MUCH?! It's probably a plot you've got underneath that seedy little coniving pair of glasses you're wearing... You've got a criminal's mind kid, did you know that? BOY I'm sorry. You look very ill. In fact, sir, you're green. ROOSTER GREEN? GREEN? You want a raise is that it, what are you trying to do, kill me with worry? BOY But you said to tell you the truth sir... ROOSTER Get another lead and call him. Go on do it before I get tense. At this rate we'll be eating in soup kitchens before the cock crows. The Boy nervously gets another card and dials. He will continue to hang up silently through the next sequence and re- dial, trying other leads. As he begins mumbling rooster swings around and sees the cowboy "Song", standing by the door gripping his guitar. He is shaking. ROOSTER If it ain't the lone fuckin' ranger. Where's Tonto asshole? Rooster laughs boldly in song's face. SONG I read your ad in the newspaper. ROOSTER O.K. o.k. so that's a start. We'll begin with that and see where it goes. If anywhere. SONG Is there work here? ROOSTER. Can you talk? SONG Yes. ROOSTER On an Alexander Graham Bell? SONG Sure. I'd have to know about the product I was selling. What exactly do you sell? ROOSTER Anything. We sell anything here. They want it we sell it. They don't want it we never heard of it. You get my drift? SONG Uh huh. ROOSTER You gotta read it to them. It's three pages long. Here. What do I look like a waiter? Siddown, make youreself nice an' comfy. Song sits. ROOSTER Now these little cards here are called leads. Can you remember that? SONG Leads. Like in a song? ROOSTER NO! SONG Nasty. ROOSTER You too? Who are you anyway? A spy. F.B.I.? I.R.S? Who? SONG I'm an artist. ROOSTER I like art, good investment. SONG I'm out of work. ROOSTER Aw, that's a shame. Tsk tsk tsk...my kid plays the tuba in band. Cute kid. SONG I was forced out. I need to find a job to get me off the streets. ROOSTER Awful how our culture doesn't support the arts, huh? Song nods sadly. ROOSTER And you're one of the victims of this unconscious resistance, This obnoxious avoidance, This... this... decadent hedonism, materialism rampant in this blind, angry, lost culture, huh? Song nods sadly. ROOSTER So you're desperate? SONG I need the money so that I can get back to myself again. ROOSTER Oh well, then you gotta go to Oz. Where all the munchkins can sing follow the yellow brick road. But they don't tell you the reason it's yellow is because Dorothy peed when she saw the wicked witch of the west! I pay minimum wage. That's where you start? SONG Um. I don't think I could stay here. ROOSTER (LAUGHING) So go. There's the door. What do I look like ya mother? Song gets up and moves to the door. He stops in terror. SONG I... Didn't mean to... insult you.. Rooster pops a roll-aide. ROOSTER Sir. Call me sir. SONG Um... O.k. Sure. ROOSTER Sir. SONG Um... ROOSTER Sir SIR! SONG Sir. Can you train me, I need the money right away? ROOSTER Sure. Money's not a problem around here. That's all we do. We make money. I have money. Lots of it. Where are you from? SONG Excuse me? ROOSTER From. FROM? Where'd your mommy get laid by your dear daddy and conceive your sorry ass, FROM? SONG A place. The family was there. But mom said my father died when I was conceived. ROOSTER Now look, I got a weak stomach, colitis, high blood pressure, hemroids, a nervous condition, and gum disease, o.k.? Now I don't wanna hear any more aboutdeath from anyone in this room. Do you understand? SONG How much can I make? ROOSTER You get minimum wage plus ten percent. SONG Ten percent of how much? ROOSTER Depends. SONG On what? ROOSTER How much you make for ... us. SONG How much can I make? ROOSTER Depends. SONG On how much I sell? ROOSTER You're beginning to get the idea. SONG And so what do I do with the leads? ROOSTER You dial the phone, read this. If they don't want it you say I understand how you feel and then go to the next paragraph. You keep on going like that. If they hang-up, a week from today you call the shit heads back and then go on to the next jerk. If they want to buy this garbage we sell, don't call it garbage I'm only using it as a figure of speech, you take all the info and fill out this form and put it in this box here. Got it? SONG Can I sing it to them? ROOSTER NO. I gotta watch what paper I put that ad in... where's Web? He hasn't called in an hour. BOY He's in the closet. In that closet right there. ROOSTER In this closet? Right here? BOY Yes. ROOSTER Why didn't you tell me that? BOY I did. ROOSTER You did not. BOY I tried. Rooster opens the closet and web stands there dead. He looks like a corpse, eyes open mouth hung down and body slumped in exhaustion. He wears a business suit and holds a briefcase in his hand. ROOSTER Get outta my closet Web. BOY What a surprise. ROOSTER You said he was out on a call. Out on a call. You made a point of him being where he was supposed to be. And me, Mr. Nice Guy, believed you. That's why I'm such a slimebucket of a human being. That's why I've become green. That's why my skin is about to peel off. That's the reason I don't care about anyone but my pathetic, unloved, filthmouth self. BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO LIE TO BEASTS LIKE ME WHO ARE PAID WELL TO SURVIVE LIKE THIS... Oh, my stomach, my asshole, my head, my heart, my brain, it all hurts sooooo much when I confront the truth. Boy gets roosters pills and offers them to him at the desk. Rooster rises quickly, spins and talks to web. The boy dials. He begins mumbling. ROOSTER (nicely) What were you doin' in my closet? WEB I walked into it thinking it was the hallway. Butwhen I got in there, I felt at home. I didn't want to leave. I even thought about renting it. ROOSTER (calmly) I sent you out on business and you walked into the closet and stayed there? WEB Yes. ROOSTER You're my ace number one salesman who's supposed to be out there making us rich. What is this Web? WEB I feel awful. Boy whispers to rooster. ROOSTER You're dead huh? WEB Yes. ROOSTER Who killed you? WEB I'd rather not say. ROOSTER Don't start playing ring around the rosey with me... WEB I woke up in a rectangular bed in a smallish box in a somewhat larger box in the world. I rose up from the rectangular bed in the smallish box in the somewhat larger box and walked down a rectangular hallway type box into another box where I made coffee and sat at my box-like table gazing into my backyard which was enclosed by a fence squaring it off. Finishing my nourishment, I went into a small box inside the somewhat larger box and sat on a ROUND bowl. I flushed the humanity and cleaned my stink and went into the first smallish box with the rectangular bed and opened many small drawer-type boxes inside a larger dresser box which contained my underwear. I opened a rectangular door that opened up into a larger walkin box which held my coverings. I covered myself in layers and colors and checked my briefcase-like box to be sure it contained all of my daily necessity boxes: my calculator box, my note box, my address book box, all my little boxes and I walked out of my box into openess. (screams) I WAS TERRIFIED. (resumes normal voice) I entered my garage-box into a moving box that was not moving. I pulled the moving box onto a rectangular driveway onto a long road which was divided down the middle by lines and also at many different points to stop, to go, to stop, to yeild, to go - but only in designated ways by people I could not see. Invisible rulers. I noticed there was a sky. (screams) I WAS TERRIFIED. (resumes normal voice) I heard, behind me, a honking horn like a man bludgeoning his family with an ax. I moved forward in my box. I stopped in a parking space box and walked outside again. (screams) I WAS TERRIFIED. (resumes normal voice) And yet, relieved my journey for the moment was over. I entered a long rectangular box that moved and went toot toot, toot toot, and sat in a seat box boxed in by other people who I could see. Boxers. I got out, and came here, took the box that moved up another long box to this floor. I entered this office box. I remembered the sky and I cried. There were no tears. I felt out of place here. I ran into the closet-box. It felt secure. I knew where everything was. I thought of renting it. ROOSTER Sorry I asked. Now it's time to go out there into that great big box and make lots and lots of small rectangular greeeeeeeen boxes. Am I speaking your language? Web nods. ROOSTER Goody goody ulcers... SONG Can I start now? I haven't eaten today. ROOSTER Not yet. SONG Why not? ROOSTER Because I said so you don't like it leave... SONG (looking at the door) I don't want to. ROOSTER Good. That shows there's something upstairs. We're protected here and you like that feeling don't you? SONG Yes. ROOSTER The money that can be made here? The potential gains. SONG Yes. ROOSTER The possibility of not getting eaten alive bodily? SONG ....Yes... I.... ROOSTER Then shut up. (PAUSE) Geez, I'm harsh. What a waste, huh? (laughs). Want a sandwich, we could send out? BOY It's after three, my shift is up. ROOSTER But you didn't do anything yet. You just spend my money making calls and never sell anything. BOY I have to go. ROOSTER Sit. Boy pauses, struggling to decide. BOY I want to say... something... ROOSTER Then say something... BOY I.... Pause. ROOSTER Yeah? So what? BOY I... I... ROOSTER Web how much did you sell today? WEB I sold my mother ... ROOSTER Good. Now that matters. Now go out and sell more. Sell lots more. Go. Web closes the closet door. It creaks like an old coffin. The phone rings. ROOSTER (to Song) Answer it. SONG Uh... Hell... hellllloooo.... ROOSTER (grabs the phone) GIVE ME THAT. (into phone) Hello Business Essentials how can I be of service to you ..? Oh hello Mrs. Jones... Yes certainly Mrs. Jones. Oh really Mrs. Jones? No kidding Mrs. Jones? Oh I'm so sorry Mrs. Jones. Well now Mrs. Jones, we'll have to fix that for you now won't we Mrs. Jones? Why don't you enclose it with a nice little letter explaining the situation Mrs. Jones and you know about our money back guarantee Mrs. Jones... O.K., Mrs. Jones. Bye bye Mrs. Jones and thank you Mrs. Jones. (hangs up) ROOSTER Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. (to them, friendly) Now did you see how I handled that? The tact. The polite helpful vocal pattern. The inflections. The upward tonality. The smooth non stop " I'll do whatever you want " line of horseshit I gave her? BOY But you never refund the money and you re-sell the merchandise. ROOSTER That's Business. That's shrewd. That's O.K. BOY That's wrong. ROOSTER It's money. BOY It's unfair. ROOSTER Unfair? I've got me a real live priest here ... SONG Shit man, what am I doing here? ROOSTER Don't curse this is a place of business? You feel stuck? SONG Yes, trapped. ROOSTER You want to get out? SONG Yeah man, this is terrible. but with no money I... ROOSTER Copy someone. SONG Who? ROOSTER Who do you identify with? Who do you want to be like? SONG No one. ROOSTER What do you like more than anything else? SONG Harmony. ROOSTER How sweet. Shit (laughs). Kid you hear that? BOY (extremely moved, gazing out) Harmony. ROOSTER Hey what do I got a conspiracy here? What is this shit? BOY Beauty ... ROOSTER Beauty died it's dead kaput the end goodbye - REPEAT!!! BOY There's beauty.... ROOSTER Where where where's beauty? BOY Nature, history, myths, truth, out there in... ROOSTER Show me. BOY Out there... there's ... SONG In music there's beauty... ROOSTER From where? Where's it come from? BOY From inside. ROOSTER Oh you're getting spunky for a little college graduate. BOY Stop talking about my life like that... ROOSTER You're talking back to me now? BOY Yes. ROOSTER Get up. BOY I'm done today. I finished a while ago. Can I go now? ROOSTER No. BOY I want to leave ... ROOSTER So leave ... what am I your mother? BOY My boss. ROOSTER Is that so? BOY Yes. ROOSTER Who makes it that way son? BOY You do. ROOSTER No, you do. (pause) Sit. Boy sits. SONG Can I start? ROOSTER Do you know who you are? Have you selected an identity? You can't relate to these people without one. SONG Not yet, but I'm closer. I've been thinking. ROOSTER I know I shouldn't ask ... about what? SONG My past and my dreams for the future. Sorting out the pictures from the feelings and the impulses from the facts. ROOSTER Here we go... SONG I remember my family giving me love, hope and happiness. Pictures to work toward. Feelings to own. An idea of a way to see things. There were a lot of people hugging me. I remember that. ROOSTER Ohhhh really hugs and kisses. How sweet? SONG Pointing me in directions. I remember them pointing and encouraging. Then I'd walk towards an image. And... I'd fall. Someone would pick me up and point and encourage me again. Sometimes they didn't point but encouraged. ROOSTER So what happened? Why'd you turn out... uh ... like that? SONG I heard music. And it moved me. ROOSTER From where to where? SONG It made me feel moved inside. ROOSTER From where to where? SONG No. No. Feelings. I felt feelings inside of me from the music. ROOSTER There's music inside of You? Hey kid, then why the hell do we sell so many damned stereo's? HA? He's got one built right in. (laughs) SONG I could respond. I smelled things better. Now I can't smell anything anymore. I lost the family. I've lost the ability to practice my art freely. Man, I've lost my senses. ROOSTER Cents? SONG I'm stuck. I know who I am, but I can't be who I am anymore. ROOSTER Not here. Here you're owned by me. SONG I had dreams ... The phone rings. ROOSTER Business essentials how may I be of service to you? What? She wants her money back? Rooster laughs hysterically into the phone receiver and falls onto the floor. ROOSTER So? Is it my fault she dropped it? Is it my fault it came back in shambles? Is it my fault she bought it? Hangs up. ROOSTER Big Jack shit hot shot legal padded pervert Lawyer. (to Boy) Get to work on that phone or die. SONG I remember dreams of going places. The air smelled alive. It was clear. I could hear. The phone rings. ROOSTER (to Boy) Pick it up... BOY (into phone) Hello, Mr. Victim? This is... ROOSTER (to Song) Son. Urban Cowboy. Dunce. Look around you here. You see here? You see this place? This is the center of it all. You've got to get to know it. Loose your resistance You're not a little boy anymore. You're how old? SONG Twenty one and a half. ROOSTER Twenty three. You're twenty four years old goin' on forty in search of something you won't find. This is the center. You adapt to it. It won't adapt to you. SONG But my music ... Boy is on the phone. The person has just hung up. BOY Oh boy ... ROOSTER He hung up? BOY Yes. ROOSTER He hung up? BOY Yes. ROOSTER He hung up again? BOY Yes. ROOSTER He he he hung up? BOY Yes sir. ROOSTER How how how could he he he...IT WAS YOUR VOICE! BOY (trying to get through) I read to him ... what you wrote... ROOSTER It's not what you say its how you say it. It'sunderneath. Its invisible. You understand? You've got to learn how to use it to your advantage. BOY I'm trying to do what you ask but... ROOSTER (behind boy looking out towards audience) You remember your dreams son? BOY No. ROOSTER You see the future with a brightly lit color. A sense of fun, love, hope, sincerity. Possibility. You see everything being alright. Going your way. Each day, a new discovery to another potential of more. You see adventure. Getting on and off jets. Being chauffeured around in limos, with plush seats. Luscious sex awaiting you at every corner. You see gold American express cards. You see all of that and more, don't you? BOY Sort of. ROOSTER Then you see a bum. A man sitting against brick buildings with puss coming out of his eyes and dripping nose. You remember walking past a string of them and one urinating on the cement groaning and looking at you in embarrassed indifference. You place yourself in that persons life. You see yourself as the bum on the street dying in disgrace and terror. You're living between two worlds, aren't you? BOY Yes. ROOSTER Sit there and shut up. (to himself) I hate the way I am. I'm really awful. Is it tax season? I'm a degenerate. (he takes out a dollar bill, snaps it, smells it, eats it if possible, and smiles) Shame. Pause. Boy begins to wince his eyebrows in a slight, but obviously demonic way. BOY He said something before he hung up? ROOSTER What? Wha'd he say? BOY Don't call back... ROOSTER (nervous, rationalizing) He doesn't mean it. He wants it. He wants everyone of our products but won't admit it to himself, that's all. He's afraid of success. He's probably on the edge. He's right on the edge but he's caught his balance. He's never done that before. He was always a little more unstable. Just enough to make him buy something. He's too comfortable. Well boys we need a new angle. We've got to make him realize that from this point forward ... he's not safe. We have to create a need. BOY Like what? Pause. ROOSTER (biting his nails) We've got to Look at this from a different angle. A new perspective... BOY I know. ROOSTER What what? Boy stands center stage. BOY (easily) Let's tell him what he needs to hear. ROOSTER Is that you talking? BOY (a little more intensely) Let's bribe his sex drive, hunger instinct, fears, paranoias, neurosis, compulsions, obsessions, power lust, greed, his need to be loved, wanted, accepted. Let's probe his unconscious through vividly deceptive idealistic imagery. ROOSTER Who is that? BOY (sinister but quiet) And if that's not enough, let's threaten him with apocalyptic possibilities... then anything will be worth buying. ROOSTER Is that you talking? BOY Yes. ROOSTER It's your mouth and your voice but who's brain is that? BOY (surprised) It's mine! ROOSTER It didn't sound like you. BOY It was me I'm sure of it. But I'm not sure how it happened. ROOSTER Are you sure it wasn't me? BOY (imitating Rooster's voice and attitude but still innocent) I'm sure now shut up slimebucket. ROOSTER I like it I like it. Now that's more like it. BOY Now let's try it my way. Pause. ROOSTER (hesitant) O.k. O.k... (slowly, thinking, biting his nails) I gotta take a risk with you.. It's part of the investment. I see a seedling of connivery there, a pinch of manipulated self contained egomania, a dash of fear, a spot of blood lust... and front lobal intelligence utilizing the primordial impulses forming a conception of deceit .... o.k. go on ... Scheme away. BOY Let's try this. Picks up phone and dials fast. BOY Hello Mr. Victim ... I beg you not to hang up. This is a personal call. Yes it's Business Essentials but my boss is out of the office and I wanted to apologize for the constant harassment. I also need some personal professional advice from a very successful person like yourself. Could you spare a moment of your precious time sir? Oh thank you sir. He drifts off into a mumble and turns his back on the audience. He makes bodily gestures. ROOSTER He's gonna lose him on me. A ten year customer and I'm turning it over to a hot shot college graduate that's had a moment of profitable corruption well up from his benign soul. Boy pushes hold button. BOY He's holding. We've got him on the edge! ROOSTER He's holding? BOY He's shitting in his pants. He's helpless. Boy's laugh has a tint of rooster's laugh within it. ROOSTER I don't know if this kind of deception is the right approach. It's cheap. Below the belt material. BOY (Rooster's laugh isin his own) AH HA HA HA, So what? No one gives a shit. That's the beauty of the new approach. We all know that we're just bullshittin' the life outta each other. So What? I want his money that's all I care about. Not his integrity, his friendship, his compassion, his needs. I want his money, that's all, that's it. Is that the idea? ROOSTER Riiiigght.. BOY Watch this... Picks up the phone and releases the hold button. He drifts off into a mumble and turns his back on the audience. He makes bold bodily gestures. Rooster grows paranoid. ROOSTER I'm letting him succeed. AM I STILL THE BOSS...?! Rooster looks at song who is reading a red marketing book he picked off rooster's desk. SONG (not sorry) I'm sorry. ROOSTER So am I so am I. I'm sorry too. A marketing book. Sits there on the shelves with red covers to attract you books. (revelation, miles) Good marketing idea. Maybe that's the answer. Use red on everything. Use it to sell. Use some other colors too, maybe some music. Use music to sell. Get some actors, use them to sell. Some babies, use babies to sell. Use anything, anything to sell. BOY Will you please hold it down, he's crying. ROOSTER (turns quickly) He's crying? The kids got him that insecure? BOY Yes.... ROOSTER He's crying? SONG That's sad. ROOSTER That means we've got him permanently. SONG I'm sad. ROOSTER (shoves the text in Song's face) Read this.Practice it with me. SONG (monotone. bored) Hello. Business Essentials. We're calling you to help you're business double, no triple its profits. ROOSTER That was monotone you can't talk monotone. You've got to find the balance between a calm, well presented clearly spoken manipulative introduction that catches them in their tracks, and the tonality that will keep each idea, each new thought, each deceptive phrase smoothly running into the next. Watch and listen to me. Helllllo. BUSINESS ESSENTIALS. We're calling YOUUUUU to help YOUR business DOUBLE, TRIPLE ITS PROFITS. Now you try it. SONG Helllllo. Business ESSENTIALS. We're CallinG you to helP YOUUUUURRRR buSinesS Double, TRIPLE ITS profits. ROOSTER You're very untalented. You'll probably end up eating garbage off the streets. SONG I... He begins to cry. ROOSTER Stop crying. He stops. Pause. ROOSTER Cry again. He does. ROOSTER Intensify it with painful sobs. He does. ROOSTER More pain and anguish. He adds it. ROOSTER Keep it there. Coast, on that agony... Song does. Rooster laughs looking at song. Pause, as this moment lingers. BOY (hangs up) I sold him. ROOSTER (to Song) Shut up. (Song does) How much? BOY Double. ROOSTER Double? A deuce? A double sale?! You sold him double? BOY Yes, I did. Rooster runs across the stage and lifts boy off his feet then the two do the tarantella across the stage. ROOSTER (dancing) SHIT. FANTASTIC SHIT. FANTASTIC. WE WON WE WON WE WON! Rooster ends up holding boy bent over backwards, in a lovers pose. BOY I want a raise plus fifty percent or I'm leaving. Rooster drops boy who falls to the ground. ROOSTER What? BOY Sit down Rooster. ROOSTER What did you just say? BOY I want a raise plus fifty percent of your gross or I'm leaving... ROOSTER Fifty..? BOY Sit down are you deaf? ROOSTER Fifty..? I... BOY Sit down or I leave blood eyes. Sits. Song cries. SONG I want to play. BOY (to Song) Shut up! SONG I can't. BOY Then hold it in. Song begins to play his guitar and sing the following words. Boy tries to shut him up with his words. Boy speaks while song sings. BOY (practicing to be Rooster) How much you sell today, two hundred bucks? What'll I do with that, what? What'll I do with that, what? Buy toothpaste? What? What's that? (to Rooster) Did you see what I did to that prick on the other end of that phone? The way I gently devastated him? Hypnotized him, made a consumer zombie out of him? The way I made his stability seem unstable at any cost? I fed him ideas that slowly tore away the bricks of his comfort... ... he so slowly has built up over his lifetime. Then he became insecure and he bought the entire line... Plus the upkeep package just to maintain being on the edge. What adream! Song sings and plays guitar while boy speaks his monologue above. SONG I feel, I want to be free A need, A need to be me But there's this meaness in the air A sense that no one cares They suck you in and spit you out They don't care what you're all about But we have meaning in our lives Take a chance to sympathize Rooster takes the guitar away from song. Rooster and boy ignore song. Song begins to make phone calls silently. BOY (practicing the phrase) "I'm Thrilled". No no it's not right. I don't feel connected to the image of it. It's missing something. It's not lining up with the image in my head. (pause) I need something. He rummages through the desk drawer as things fly out all over the floor. BOY Ah, this feels different. Better, but not there yet. I need something else. I feel out of place. ROOSTER Can I start? BOY No. Call Web. Now that corpse can sell. ROOSTER? I want fifty percent, a health plan and insurance, sick benefits, you know, the works, or I'm leaving and find myself another coop to make me rich. ROOSTER I'll give you twenty five percent. BOY Thirty five. ROOSTER Twenty eight and a half. BOY Thirty three and a third. ROOSTER Twenty nine and a ninth. BOY Thirty two and a half. ROOSTER Twenty nine and a third. BOY Thirty two take it or leave it. ROOSTER Twenty nine and ninety nine point nine nine nine nine nine and you can take it or get the hell outta here like now. Pause. . BOY It's a deal. Pause. They look at each other and begin to smile, it turns into low, growling laughter. Song stops humming. ROOSTER (to Song) PRACTICE OR DIE. SONG Helllllo. This is BUSINESS ESSENTIALS and we're calling YOUUUUU to help YOUUUUURRRR business Double, no TRIPLE ITS PROFITS. Song keeps reading and putting down the script disgustedly. Rooster brings his tray of pill bottles and places them on boy's desk. Then crosses down to the imaginary mirror and tucks his shirt in. Boy and Rooster gently push one another away so they can use the mirror. BOY Smoother, relaxed, cool, confident. Let it roll out effortlessly. Boy pulls out a hair brush and hair grease. BOY Maybe this will help. He begins to grease his hair back with the brush. SONG (regarding himself) I'm seeing something. Merging. It's changing me inside. It looks deadly. Something that I don't want to be, but feel compelled to become. Maybe it's the surroundings. BOY Laugh those feelings off. Get rid of them they're a threat to your survival. SONG I can't laugh. Song tries to pick up his guitar. He cannot. BOY (brushing his hair) If you can't act the way you're told, leave. SONG I'll leave then... He rises. As he stands, the chair is stuck to him. He sits again. SONG I'm stuck by something. BOY Laugh about it. You'll feel better. Do I look O.k. Boss? ROOSTER No. Here let me help. Rooster puts green make-up on boys face. He smears it on. BOY Good. I feel like a malignant tumor. I don't want to look o.k. It won't merge. But something's missing. ROOSTER I have a jacket in the back. Rooster exits. SONG This hurts me... BOY Laugh it off... SONG (tries to laugh but can't) I can't laugh about it. (tries laughing again) There's no laughter in me here. (tries again) The picture's fading. Can I try the phones without that stupid script? I'll die if I have to read that again. (tries again) I need truth. Insight. Anything pure from the outside. Maybe a record or a painting or a poem or something. Rooster enters with a jacket that is identical as the one he is wearing. Dresses Boy. BOY No! Practice whispering and don't bug me. Memorize the text. Absorb it. Make it a part of yourself and then repeat it out loud. Understand Mr. Artist? Mr. Creative. Mr. Folk Singer From Hell. SONG I can't read it anymore. I can't memorize it. It won't go in. Maybe it went into you but it bounces off of me. It doesn't fit me. ROOSTER Will you shut up and go along with it. That's your problem. You're hearing songs, dreaming up images, feeling creativity in the wrong direction. There's no use for it here can't you see that? SONG But it's who I am. I've always sought expression and freedom. ROOSTER You're not free here so your inside isn't merging with the outside. You want to die go ahead die singing, but the singing will stop, once you're dead. You'll be worse off than you are now. SONG What can I do? ROOSTER Make a sale. It does wonders. Rooster laughs. SONG (to rooster) What are we doing here? ROOSTER (smiles proudly) Surviving. Sell kid sell. The phone rings. ROOSTER Opportunity knocks. SONG (closes his eyes tight. sings passionately) I see a landscape of open fields... BOY AND ROOSTER ANSWER IT!!! Song snaps it off the hook. Speaks silently. The closet door opens very fast, creaking. Web stumbles out and stops, standing, hanging over to one side in total exhaustion facing the audience, even deader than when he left. His face is decaying, skin falling off. Very gotesque and frightening to look at. Rooster and boy are now exactly alike. WEB I'm beat. What a day. I'm dead. Web pants heavily leaning to one side. The phone rings. Song snaps it up. SONG (dials. Reads from the text) Hello, Mr. VICTIM? this is business essentials here to... hello? Hello? BOY He hung up? SONG Y...es..sss... BOY Yes? Did you just say YES? SONG Yes sir. BOY You said "yes" didn't you? I wasn't sure because you mumbled it in terror, that word Yes? SONG Yes. BOY Yes as in "he did hang up" as in he's not on the other end of that alexandergrahambell, as in I'm gonna be impoverished, as in my bank account is impotent, as in he's not gonna buy something from me so I can go home to my comfy's. Yes, as in all of that? SONG This sucks man... Boy slams desk drawer making a crashing thud, he chases Song, who runs upstage in terror, the chair still attached. BOY DO SOMETHING BESIDES BABBLING. CALL SOMEONE. MAKE A SALE, BUT DO SOMETHING USEFUL. (he stops) TALK TO WEB HE'S ADJUSTED. HE'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO LIVE. WEB TEACH HIM HOW TO LIVE. WEB Okay... Money... SONG All I want to do is be freed from this chair. Help me? Song runs downstage in desperation. The chair still attached to him. Rooster crosses down center and stops him, throws him down into a sitting position center stage. ROOSTER HELP YOURSELF. Rooster kneels at Song's feet. ROOSTER (to Song) You just won't accept this will ya kid? WEB Houses. SONG HOW CAN YOU? WEB Furniture. ROOSTER How can you not? WEB Stuff. SONG IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME I'D RATHER BE DEAD. WEB More stuff. ROOSTER So die but accept it. WEB Stuffed feelings. SONG IT'S KILLING ME. I CAN'T SING. WEB Love. ROOSTER Look kid, you go through these things. You're born and you live. What do you want from me?. I didn't make the rules. (intensely) You live. You choose. You become. SONG PLEASE, CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING TO GET THIS CHAIR OFF OF ME. IT'S STOPPING ME FROM MOVEMENT. BOY Nah. And if I could what would be in it for me? ROOSTER Why don't you write some commercially popular tunes, you know like, (screams in a bad rock and rollers voice) HOT HOT HOT. PUT IT IN AND PULL IT OUT STICK IT IN ME HOT WOOO HOT FAST FAST FAST LOUD LOUD LOUD OOOOOOO BABY. You know the stuff on the radio. You could make a fortune. Buy a house secluded from everything with every comfort imaginable to modern man. You could retire if you wanted to. Anything. SONG I'm an artist. Rooster laughs loudly. ROOSTER Get back to work. SONG (struggling with the chair) I felt the possibilities of beauty. WEB I sold another. And another and another. I made a lot of money again. I made a living again. I feel like I can go home now. Can I go home now? ROOSTER Good work Web. Very good. I'm giving you a raise. WEB (monotone) That's exciting. I wish I could find my life again. Have you seen it? ROOSTER It's in the closet and I thank you for your dead-ication to the institution, Web. WEB I appreciate the opportunity. It's rare to find such a satisfying tomb to work in. What a terrific idea of a way to live. BOY (to Song) HERE. Drops the phone onto Song's lap, song knocks it off violently. BOY Make a call. Try another one, but stop walking around with the chair stuck to your ass, you look ridiculous. SONG It tortures me. BOY You'll learn to live with it. You won't even feel it after the first sale. The comforts will make you forget. SONG NO!!! Center stage, Song pulls at the chair, attempting to free himself. Like a large dying fish suffocating and flopping about. He is in agonizing, emotional pain. BOY You can't identify with he surroundings because you're paying too much attention to what's going on inside. Stop that, and you'll be happy. Boy begins to pop rolaids, drink, smoke, etc. SONG I CAN'T TAKE THIS. BOY (matter of fact) You'll die then. SONG I HATE THIS. ROOSTER (unconcerned) You'll never find a balance. SONG I'LL KEEP TRYING. BOY THEN YOU'LL LIVE LIKE THAT. Song continues pulling at the chair. ROOSTER (to Boy) You're looking well son. I think we can go to contract now. (pulls out a contract). The lights begin to shift so that by the end of the play, a slime-green hue evolves and dominates the space. BOY Yes yes that would be fine. Fine ... heh heh heh... ROOSTER Web you can go home. We're closed for the day. WEB Yes. I think that would be a good idea. I'll see you fellas tomorrow, bright and early. BOY Ah heh heh heh good night Web. See you in the money. Rooster laughs. Song rises with the chair still attached to him and runs up stage center he sees web. They are profile to the audience. SONG (to Web) DAD?! WEB (looking directly at Song) Son? Web closes the closet door. SONG DAD! (pause) NO ... PLEASE DAD ... HELP ME?! Song, hurt and confused, walks downstage left and falls backwards ending up on the floor on his side. Rooster begins to sing "you belong to me". Boy is on the phone, ad-libbing dialogue to a costumer. He is arrogant and agressive, smoking, doing coke. Rooster singing, takes out some ten dollar bills and holds them out over song. Rooster and Song look at each other, rooster piercing and threatening, Song terrified. The phone on the floor, rings and continues to ring. Rooster, singing drops the money over song and it floats down around him. Song is stunned for a moment, but grabs the money out of reflex and looks at it in deep shock. Rooster, singing, begins to leave a trail of money toward center stage. One bill at a time. Song crawls toward the phone, following the money. When he reaches the phone he picks it up and dials. Song sighs of relief and begins ad-libbing a dialogue beginning with: "hello, mr. Victim, this is business essentials and we're her to swerve your ever growing needs..." And ending with " guaranteed or your money back". There is a shy knock at the door. A pink spot rises on the door. BOY (to door) WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE--A BUTLER? A young girl enters and stands in the doorway. She is perhaps twenty years old, dressed in a light white dress. She is very fragile, innocent and vulnerable. The men look at her. Silence. Slow fade out. The End