HOMER

(TO HOMER - HIS HOT-SHOT SALESMAN)

Now the underground sound thing--that makes quakes off the Rictor scale... now that baby is a real selling point when attacking a country where the ground's more rock than sand because they can chip half of it off and send it under the sea. Ya know, send the country for a nice little swim. Ha ha ha. So, I want you to focus on that early too. And please, steer them away from discussing the radiation thing, the contamination factor or the possible death rate, that messy stuff just doesn't go over big when you're trying to sell a contract. Stay with the profits. And don't forget to smile. (Bears his teeth) Teeth. TEEEEEEETH. SEE. Talk modernization. We're all through with clubs and stones, bows and arrows and bayonets... Tell them those days are history Homer. Kaput. They'll understand "kaput", Homer. Three quarters of their country still makes houses out of mud and straw, they're smoking peace pipes, dancing around with chalk on their faces, making their lips three times their regular size and they want out of that. They've got to be brought out of the mud and BOOM into the twentieth century and they're ready, Homer, they're ready... (winks) They've heard about the shopping malls and they want to go with us.

Read the Monologue

"SPELLBINDING.... 'in Perfectly Norm-iLL People," his second solo, Monteleone slips with ease from one character to another with an original or hysterical line to draw you in."
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" BRAVURA PERFORMANCE... Monteleone demonstrates a convincing range in evoking 10 different characters" 
Steve Parks
Newsday