SODOM AND GAMORA

A MAN, MEAN UNDERTONES, GESTURES TO SOMEONE IN THE
AUDIENCE TO CALL THEM OVER TO HIM. HE SMILES.

Hey. How ya doin'? I seen ya jus' get off dat bus over dere. Long trip huh? Tired I bet. Exhausted, right. Why? I'm a cop. Undercover cop. Undercover, you know, you watch t.v. right. So, like dat. So what's your name. I promise I won't take you downtown if ya cooperate. I jus' wanna know so's I don't gotta call ya hey, or missy or nothin' like dat. Sonia? Now dat's a pretty name. Sonia. You know what dat name means? Song. Yeah. Song. You're a songbird, Sonia. Sonia da Songbird, now ain't dat nice. A pretty, little, scared, lost 'n lonely songbird right off da bus outta hell. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Cold? Want my jacket. Suit yaself sweetheart. I can see ya cool Songbird. Dis park, you ain't plannin on stayin here are ya? 'Cause it ain't no place for a nice young thing like you. How old are ya? Fourteen. Cool age Sonia. Very cool age. Where ya from? Sonia, I know dat bus. It's from outta town, an' everyday kids come offa dat bus to here. I'm here to help 'em, dat's all. Think of me as ya gurdian angel.

You run away didn't ya Songbird. Don't bullshit me, honey, okay, I can smell a "runaway" as they cross over the city limits. I don't like bein' b.s.ed to death. So don't you ever do that to me, okay? Okay.

Hey hey hey, where da fuck do you tink ya goin'. I'm not done yet little girl. An', honey, you gotta stay until I say you can go or else I'll get... all... I'll do somethin I wouldn't wanna have to do. Okay? Good. We're beginnin' to have an understandin'... You gotta listen to me so you don't get hurt.

See dem people over dere. They're assholes Songbird. Dis park here, these people, they're da Shit A La Shit. Scumbags. Scuz A La Scuz. Slime of da slime. Human defecated perverts wit diseased missions. Primordial scum base down at da bottom of da barrell scuz, fungus, fermented vomit. You like dat huh? Heh heh heh heh heh. They're dangerous. You know what dey want from you don't ya? Dey want to, use you. No, I mean usseee you. Let's jus' say at dis point, dat if there's an opening, they want to apply for it. Heh heh heh heh heh. Dat's all dey tink about. Look at 'em, lookin' right over here at you. Don't be scared. But ya gotta know the law. An' now, you got me to protect ya. I'm a man of dat law.

Last week a girl was found beheaded right here in dis park. They tink someone ate here, too. Cannibals. Barbarians, primitive beasts right over there. And there, walkin' down the street. Don't let the nice suits fool ya. Dat's what lives here and they're all after you Sonia da Songbird. Every filthy one of 'em. They'll watch for you. They watch an' move in like vultures over a fresh corpse. They don't care about nothin' 'cause they been beat up dere whole fucked up lives and so they come here, to find peace. Ya know needles, booze, some violence, they need to let it out, escape from their life of pain. Like you. An' so wala, here you are my little princess like a newborn babe in her mothers arms, delivered right smack to da Pearly Gates.

Where ya stayin'? Nowhere? Nowhere's not a good place to stay. Somewhere's better. I got a somewhere. Where? Below the rainbow, Songbird. Far below--but, it's a place. When da night comes, you'll want a place to stay. Let me help you out--come stay a night or two, until ya on ya feet? No. Okay, suit yaself. You think I'm B.S'n you? ANSWER ME. You stupid, blind Songbird. You see scum here, I tell you shit outta the bottom of my... an' you turn down a roof. God help you ya ain't protected. God help you. I can protect you. You don't want it, go. Good fuckin' luck.

What do I want?

What are you stupid? I gotta teach you everyting? Look, it's like dis--in dis here world, you give, an' you get. You don't give, an' you don't get. A simple equation. Don't gotta know Algebra. Like da Indian's. They knew how to trade. They bartered. One gave, one got. It's still like day today. Jus'-- you do tings for me. I don't know. Whatever. Like, you clean up, let's say. Maybe wash some dishes. Things like dat. Chores. Responsibilities to those who protect you. You do whatever's asked of you... Little birdy.

Think about it I don't offer three times. Simple equation. Alone. City. Mudder Theresa's in Ethiopia. Roof, no roof. Raped, not raped. Killed, alive. Up to you I don't give a shit. Think about it--but I don’t got all day.

You ever had a boyfriend? Boyfriends?! Good Songbird. Ever have sex? You didn't have no sex, ya only fourteen. Yeah? Man, you are cool shit. You wanna live on da streets--be alone an' survive here, dat's an absolute plus. Blow jobs too? Comeon. You ain't dat cool, you ain't dat cool. Okay, Okay don't go gettin' angry, I'm sorry man... so you tink you're grown up. An adult. Sodomy? Sodom an' Gamora? You ever done dat, Songbird? It's in da bible. It's holy. Sodom is the place from whence all tings come out of... If you don't love it here, you'll end up livin' wit dese perverts an' Sodom an' Gamora'll look like Jacuziville, know what I mean? You don't give, you don't get. In fact, Sonia, baby, you don't give, here, you could get killed. So, last chance--wanna come wit me or not?

Good Songbird. You could learn alot from a guy like me. You're lucky you met me. Usually, kids like you end up sleepin' in alley's and witness some vile murder or two before someone like me has the heart to come along an' help ‘em out.

'Cause a pretty song like you, well, people'll wanna play you. They'll give you all kinds of beautiful tings here if you treat 'em the way they wanna be treated. So, if ya sing da right way, you'll be loved.

Hey, maybe you could practice bein' an actress. Someday, who knows--dis is America, land of opportunity, an' dere's no end to what could happen to you. From here to da silver screen. You like dat, huh? Bein' a star? I thought you would.

SODOM & GAMORAH 1994 - STARRING SONIA SONGBIRD: Heh heh heh heh heh put you up all over Forty Second Street, den in every video store across this grand prairie. You’d like dat, right?

When? As soon as ya want. I could set dat up real easy. Let me call around to my people workin' other precincts. In a coupla day's I could have ya shipped out ta Long Island or Connecticut, real safe, pretty. Sauna, pool, pretty stuff an' all you gotta do is what ya been doin' against ya will. Only now you're in control songbird. Finally in control of somethin'. An' gettin' paid big bucks for bein' the star dat you was always meant to be. I can see ya interested but ya little skeptical. Okay, well dat's a good sign. Look, come an' stay a night, see how ya like it. If ya any good, den tomorrow I'll introduce ya to some producer friends of mine. Some very wealthy entrepeneaurs who'll be very happy to meet you. Very, very happy. An' you will be happy, too, Songbird. You'll sing to all America. An', you'll be safe from the snakes watchin' you right now. See 'em. I know you do. I bet ya hungry. Okaya then... You come with me and I'll feed ya.

FADE OUT.

"SPELLBINDING.... 'in Perfectly Norm-iLL People," his second solo, Monteleone slips with ease from one character to another with an original or hysterical line to draw you in."
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" BRAVURA PERFORMANCE... Monteleone demonstrates a convincing range in evoking 10 different characters" 
Steve Parks
Newsday